I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
