ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Your penis caused this!
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
And then he peed in my hair
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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