I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
