I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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