If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
