so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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