the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Randomize
