I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
