Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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