what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
