Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
