The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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