I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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