So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
