so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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