Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
