I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
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