Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize
