it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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