Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
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