You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
she smelled like a LAN party
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
