My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
