When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
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