Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
