I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Duck Duck Cougar?
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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