Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Randomize