I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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