I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
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