I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Randomize
