we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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