I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
