the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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