Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
