we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
