he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
