I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
My bed smells like the plague
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
