I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
