I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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