hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
