you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
