Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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