I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize