Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
