Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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