Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
