So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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