no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize