Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
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