U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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