We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Randomize
