don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
