If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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