remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
