You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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