sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
