I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Randomize
