Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
